I don’t mean to get on a soap box or preach your ears off, but having said that you must already know that we speak our minds on our blog and we hold nothing back. I just wanted to let some things off my chest, but at the same time, hopefully inspire, or at least give you something to chew on.
This past week, my family has gone through some difficult times. Without going through all the details, my grandmother passed away. I needed to step back and reflect on my purpose and direction in life. I find it a privilege, honor, and blessing to be capturing the most important moments in a couple’s life as a wedding photographer. But, as many of you know Danelle and I are work horses and give nothing less than excellence. This is a good and bad thing. The good speaks for itself, the bad part is it makes our lives as husband and wife un-balanced. I never realized this until death was on everyone’s mind.
Upon reflecting, I found this situation in life extremely intriguing. Photographing weddings, I am able to catch the moments of connection, when a bride looks into the eyes of her new husband, when an older brother tears up to see his little sister starting her new family, or when a father embraces his daughter for the last time as a single woman. All these forms of connection have so much power and have such a huge influence in our lives. On the other side, death has a similar form of connection if not more powerful. I witnessed many if not all my family members weep my grandmothers passing. It is also interesting to note that I saw guests that didn’t even know the family well up. Something very similar to acquaintances at a wedding tearing during the ceremony. There is this supernatural connection we build among others. It causes us to be linked. It moves us in ways I can’t describe in words and compels us to become more than we are.
What is my point??? Through my ramblings and reflections, I had to sort out my emotions and thoughts. My late grandmother and I are believers, so there is no worry there. But the gaping hole of influence, humor, and inspiration cannot be replaced. As I sat in the pews, I saw many people I have not seen in the longest time. And that is when I realized that death should not be the reason we gather, conversely, life should be the excuse for us to commune.
This is my plea to you. Don’t wait for death or a tragedy to eulogize a loved one, family, co-workers, or friends. Life is way too short. Why do we usually wait until the person can’t hear us, for us to affirm them? Why do we wait for death to recognize one’s life achievement? Why do we bend over backwards when we know that someone won’t be coming back?
*** If you didn’t read anything in the previous paragraphs, please just read this: Take this week to eulogize one person. If it’s your husband, your children, your parents or your siblings – please do that. Please, Please, Please. The connection we have with each other shouldn’t be noticed when it’s severed. Please make life a priority above all else. Business and work can be made up with time – but life is something you only get one crack at.
I want to leave you with a quote from Mike Mason the author of “the Mystery of Marriage”
“… how many have died without any such homage, leaving behind huge, gaping wounds of unbearable regret in the hearts of those who said they loved them: regret for not having loved them in life as they discover, so painfully, they do in death? Somehow we must learn to mourn our loved while they are yet alive, not waiting until they are gone and our grief does no one but ourselves any good. At least one kiss each day should be watered with tears… For now is the time to eulogize, now the time to deck with flowers. Today is the day to carry to its rest the whole weight of our love’s flesh upon our shoulders”
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As always, after a tragedy there is an initial shock that compels us to change, but after a while that novelty wears off and it’s back to business. Please slap me if that happens.
